Men have got to do better.
I tend to be a gregarious person. I’m ok talking with new people, even those with differing opinions and personalities. I enjoy meeting people. The thing I find discouraging about people’s “outward” personas, especially men but not limited to them, is the objective of fitting in.
The way that many will try to fit in is to belittle those around them. They mistake superiority with friendship. They are feeding into a vicious patriarchy that has existed for hundreds of years. It’s subconscious behavior playing out the sins of our fathers as well as the traumatizing isolation of adolescence which might as well take place in a jungle.
I’ve made a conscious choice now to understand my own behavior and make a choice of inclusion and support. I’m more interested in helping people be their best through encouragement and positivity. Does that mean I’m not up for a little playful banter? Of course not. There is a subtle difference and the difference is usually in the face of the target. You know when you may hurt someone’s feelings. It’s not the same trigger that hurts your feelings or makes you uncomfortable but that’s the art. Learning where the line is.
Men have to be better at relating to one another without resorting the petty power plays and ego maniacal chest thumping. It’s ok to let the bear get his paws around you. :)
